Well I had two more unsuccessful dates this past weekend. I'm starting to get really fed up with the whole scene. So many people say they don't play "dating games" and that they are "real" and "easy going" but I can tell you that those people just don't have very much self awareness. I have decided if you are on a dating site you play dating games. If you are describing yourself online you probably aren't being very realistic about who it is you are. And most guys are more drama oriented and difficult than I am. They always say that when you stop looking for Mr. Right thats when he finds you. I sure hope thats not true because I'm stopping my search for a reason. I know this may sound like I'm giving up and being negative or whatever. Perhaps I am, but I have decided after the last oh 4 or 5 online dates I've gone to that the drama and the games just aren't worth the type of dates I'm going on. I have another two months on match.com and then I have 6 months free because I have yet to be matched up, lol. So I'll continue my profile for that long but I don't think I'm going to actively seek anyone at this point in my life. I have a lot going on with work and church and I just don't see myself in a relationship at the moment.
I have found myself slowly withdrawing into myself. I don't hardly talk to my friends anymore because none of them understand the stresses of my job. I don't like talking to my parents because they are too interested in whats going on at my job and I'm worried about confidentiality problems. I've been keeping my mouth shut about just about everything I do at work all day around my parents because 1) I don't really like talking specifics about my job when I'm not there and 2) I hate talking to people without the responsibility of my job about my job because they get this sympathetic persona for those I work with but what good does that do because I'm the one who then has to go to work the next day and deal with it. I honestly could care less if you feel sorry for the families I work with. If you really feel sorry then get off your butts and start serving your neighbors. Brother Bills' firework show this year talked about the government's welfare system and how it removes accountability from neighbor helping neighbor. I see it everyday. The government cannot and does not ever really help people. You want to see lives changed? Go out there and change them. Sorry about that little soap box.
Its been awhile since I've posted anything and so I have a lot on my mind I haven't been able to get out recently.
So on a happier note I am renovating my apartment. The kitchen upstairs has been used for storage and kitty litter for too long and I have taken it over. It has been painted and the carpet has been partially torn out. I hope to sometime get the flooring put in and a new kitchen table made. I also need to make cushions for the benches. Its really fun and relaxing to make my living space more liveable. I'm also redoing my bedroom. I've painted the walls, bought a new comforter, and reorganized the furniture. I'm still debating with my father about wether or not he will allow me to paint the trim. It is currently a very orangy wood. He doesn't want me to paint over the wood even though it is hideously ugly. :D lol. So if ever you are in my room with my father do me a solid and tell him the trim needs painting. lol.
A week from today I will be leaving for Bear Lake to spend three wonderful nights with my wonderful family. I could not be more excited and have been looking forward to this all summer. Then my July pay check will be the first I get with my new raise instituted in it and the fun will really begin.
"All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Tolstoy
Erica
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